Hitting Kohls

calvinseen

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Hitting Kohls

Trent spent eight years in community college. His parents told him he needed to get into a university and move on to better things instead of working at McDonalds, getting into trouble, and going in and out of the psychiatric unit. Trent agreed he needed to get that diploma so he could pursue his dream of becoming a psychiatric technician. Then reality set in. He ended up either failing or settling for Ds.

When it came down to college, he couldn’t understand why all his classmates in every class understood what was going on except him. But when it came down to running operations everything made sense.

Instead of studying and completing assignments, his motivation and time was spent buying way below retail priced vacuum cleaners and reselling them with his best friend Bobby.

Bobby and Trent met at a coffee shop. As they sipped coffee, Trent said: “We got three days to hit Kohls. This operation’s going to net us enough for the year,”

“What do you mean by hit Kohl’s? I don’t want to be arrested for fraud again.” Said Bobby.

“By hit I mean we just have to go shopping just like any other customer. Don’t worry about it we’re going to be following Kohl’s policies to substantially reduce the price of vacuum cleaners.

“Ok. Lay it on me.”

“There’s this Dyson vacuum being sold at Kohls for $600 but Sears sells it for $430. According to Kohl’s policy they will price match the price of their $600 vac to Sear’s $430 price. But get this for the next three days they’ve got a 30% off any item sale. And after that you get $10 Kohls cash vouchers for every $50 spent so after the 30% I would get $60 in Kohl’s cash vouchers.”

“Ok that sounds legit. So we just keep price matching vacuums along with 30% off and accumulate enough Kohl’s cash to get free vacuums?”

“Precisely. We off them all on Ebay and Craigslist and profit. We keep repeating the same procedure until we get the free vacs from the Kohl’s Cash and off that too. You’ll have enough for child support for the rest of the year. And I’ll have enough for rent. Let’s move.”

Trent thought if only he could spend his time studying for the upcoming exam like a model student. But this operation sounded too good. Even better because it was legal.

They went to the Kohl’s customer service. The employee said: “How may I help you?”

Trent said: “I would like to pricematch this Dyson vacuum with the one at Sears.”

She replied: “Ok we do pricematches here but we need a hard copy of the ad not your print out.”

Bobby thought the scheme was over there’s no way they’d accept a print out. Someone could just photoshop the price. But then Trent said: “I’m willing to goto Sears, buy it, and come here to show you the receipt.”

“Ok I need to run this by the manager.”

The employee left and returned saying that they were going to do it. Trent was running out of time. His exam was in an hour and he really wanted to get that D in the class.

A line was forming at customer service and people were getting angry.

Trent showed her the 30% off coupon and she said: “What are you trying to pull here? Your trying to take us for a ride.”

He replied: “You would really make my day if you honor this coupon.”

“Ok. I’ll make an exception this time.”

She marked down the price and scanned the coupon. This reduced the $600 Vacuum to $301. Then a rebate popped out of the register. “What the hell is this? She said.

The three day promotion was that Trent gets $10 for every $50 spent. $301 meant Trent received $60 Kohls Cash Vouchers to be used for the next visit.

“I’m really really sorry but I’d like to buy all your vacuums.”

“You’re not serious. I told you this is just an exception.”

There was a silence. She thought Trent was joking but he didn’t leave.

“I need to get the manager.”

She left again and returned with ten vacuums on a cart. The customers in line were starting to complain and wondering why the hell Trent was buying ten vacuums. Bobby couldn’t believe what was going on.

She rang up each vac at $301 plus tax and gave him the $60 Kohls Cash for each one after Trent paid with his credit card. She said “I’ve never seen anything like this. You’ve saved thousands of dollars.” Trent replied: “Sorry about all this. Thank you so much for your time.”

“Next person in line,” she said.

Trent and Bobby wheeled the vacuums into a van and Bobby said: “You missed your exam. You’re going to fail out again.”

“Screw it. Here’s the Kohls Cash. Just get yourself some free vacuum cleaners. College ain’t going to teach anyone this.”

Trent dropped out of class once again. He was one class away from graduating but he decided not to finish college and do what he knew best: Hitting Kohls.